Something To Look Forward To
by plumfan4ever
Summary: My first attempt at a song fic from Joe's point of view. Some angst, but all is well at the end.


All characters in the Stephanie Plum series belong to Janet Evanovich. The song "Just Breathe" is the property of Pearl Jam. The use of both in this story is for entertainment purposes only.

Something to Look Forward To

My name is Joe Morelli and I'm a cop in Trenton, New Jersey. I grew up here, the baby boy in a big Italian American family. My mother was the best growing up. The less said about my father, the better. I escaped Trenton for a while by joining the Navy, but decided that I didn't want a military career. I came home, enrolled in the police academy, graduated, and joined the Trenton Police Department. I'm in my early thirties now, and have worked my way up to detective. I like my job most days. It's rough when I have to notify a worried mom that her kid was killed in a drive-by shooting. It's better when I can tell a mom we caught the S.O.B. that shot her child.

I also own a house and a big goofy dog named Bob. The house was a legacy from my Aunt Rose. I never thought about having my own house, but I'm grateful that Aunt Rose left it to me. Even though Trenton is my home town, having this house makes me feel like I truly belong here. Bob was a "gift" from Stephanie Plum. He started out living with her, but decided he liked staying with me better. Since I can't convince Stephanie to be a permanent roommate, I guess Bob is filling in for her right now.. And Bob's a great dog, but I'd rather wake up to Stephanie every morning than him.

However, Stephanie stormed out of my house and my life a little while ago, so I won't be waking up next to her any time soon. The fight was stupid, and quickly got blown out of proportion. Who would have thought she'd have gotten so bent out of shape over that jar of peanut butter I threw out? It was disgusting. Potato chip bits and blobs of jelly smeared in with the peanut butter, along with some orange powder she said came off some cheese doodles. Plus the jar was almost empty. Yet, the fight turned into a rant on how I was an inconsiderate jerk, and I said some things back that I regretted as soon as they left my mouth. The house feels lonely without her in it.

I'm off work today so I'm going to paint the upstairs bedroom I use as a home office. I've been working on the house in my spare time, starting with the downstairs first. There's not as much furniture in the office so I decided to make it my next project. Stephanie picked out the color before our fight, so first I've gotta go to the hardware store to buy the paint and some new rollers. Yeah, I'm going to use the paint she liked. I have hopes that she'll be back to see it in the office.

As the guy is mixing my paint in the back of the hardware store, we hear a commotion up front. Crap. Some jokers are robbing the place. Two guys, one white, one Hispanic. There's sunglasses on both of them but no other attempt to disguise themselves. The way they're hopping around and yelling could either be nerves or drugs. The guns in their hands make either guess a bad combination. I pull out my cell and call it in. Dispatch tells me units are on the way and to hang back until they arrive. My gun is inside my jacket out of habit. I pull it out and tuck it into my waistband just in case. Ralph, the paint mixer, has ducked under his counter. I tell him to stay put until the other cops arrive. I ease away from the paint counter and slowly move closer to the robbers.

The robbers are making the cashiers and customers dump their wallets into their bags. Apparently there wasn't enough cash in the registers to make them happy. A woman's screams from the front of the store stops me cold. The white guy decided to feel up Janice Rinella after she gave him her cash. Janice graduated with my sister Cathy, and has two boys in elementary school. Thank God they aren't in the store with her. The crook hits her after the first scream, making her scream more. The Hispanic guy is now yelling for the other guy to "shut that bitch up". Whitey hits Janice with more force, knocking her to the ground. Janice is crying and whimpering, and trying to cover her head and upper body with her arms.

The cop and Italian male in me are in agreement. This can't continue. I'm not going to stand here and wait for help while a woman is hurting. I'm almost to the front of the store, not worrying at all about stealth. The robbers are focused completely on the people by the cash registers.

I hear the sirens blaring down the block, and this whole thing looks like it could turn into a hostage situation. The ass-hats should be running out of the store, but they seem to have forgotten the need to get away. One of the cashiers is yelling at the crooks to leave Janice alone. The Hispanic guy reaches out and puts his gun to the cashier's head. There's no more time to wait for the patrol cars.

"Police! Drop your guns! Back away and put your hands behind your heads". I step into their line of sight with my gun tracking back and forth between them. Through the front window I see the flashing lights of a squad car entering the parking lot. Help is on the way. I just have to keep these guys distracted for a few more minutes.

The bad guys decide not to drop their guns. Of course not. Why make things easy? Instead, they decide to point the guns at me. That's fine. I'd rather have them aim at me than the civilians. Eddie Gazarra is getting out of his car, running towards the store. Another patrol car is turning into the lot. These guys aren't getting away.

"In a minute this building will be surrounded by cops. Drop your guns, step back and drop to the floor. Nobody is hurt. Keep it that way and things will go a lot easier on you."

My speech fails to impress. Both of them are gripping their guns so hard I bet it's going to leave impressions in their hands. Gazarra is standing to the side of the door waiting for a sign to come in the store. I see other cops fanning around the building.

"Fuck you! I'm not going to jail. Tell the cops outside to leave, or we start shooting." The Hispanic guy takes a step back from me while talking. His partner looks nervous, but he's not dropping his gun either. Thankfully, they don't seem too smart. Neither one is trying to grab a hostage, but that could change fast.

Shit. I'm not a hostage negotiator. I need to get these guys away from Janice and the others. I'm moving to the left so Gazarra can still see me. The crooks are turning just a bit too so they can track me. I keep moving and they move with me, farther from the others.

Boom! A smoke bomb smashes the front window. Both guys turn and start shooting. I'm running toward them when the Hispanic guy turns back around to face me. He's lost his sunglasses and he's angry. I'm watching his trigger finger. I start shooting when I see his finger squeeze.

I hear more shots and yelling, but it sounds like it's far away. I'm falling, but the floor stops me. I try flipping over. It hurts, but I finally do it. There's blood on my hands and I can feel it running off of my stomach. Cops are in the store now, their voices mixing with the frightened voices of customers and store employees. I don't hear the perps. I feel strange, like my mind isn't really connected to my body. Random thoughts start flitting around, and a song Stephanie likes starts going through my head. Pearl Jam. A change from her Metallica, which I teased her about the first time I heard her play it.

_Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..  
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..  
I'm a lucky man to count on both hands  
The ones I love,.. _

I'm a lucky man. I have a family I love. I love Stephanie. Stephanie loves me too, even if she's mad at me right now. I can't be dying. It happens to cops, getting shot in the line of duty. I never think about it happening to me any more. Especially since I'm no longer working undercover.

I must have blacked out for a minute. I feel someone touching my shoulder. It's Eddie Gazarra. Eddie looks angry and determined. "Joe. Joe Morelli. Can you hear me? Hang on man, the ambulance is in the parking lot."

_Some folks just have one,  
Others they got none, aw huh,..  
Stay with me,..  
Let's just breathe. _

"Damn, this hurts Eddie. Where's the paramedics? I feel like I'm on fire."

"Come on Joe, stay with me. Just breathe. That's all you gotta do. "

_Practiced are my sins,  
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..  
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..  
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world  
To make me bleed. _

Eddie is still kneeling near me, but the paramedics are in my face talking to me, using the blood pressure cuff, and firing stats into their mics. I see Stephanie's face in my mind, thinking about all the times I've loved her, teased her, fought with her and cared for her. It's better than thinking about the pain I'm feeling.

_Stay with me,.. _  
_You're all I see._

I'm on a stretcher now, headed out to the ambulance. I must be hallucinating. I see Stephanie leaning over me, tears dripping out of her big blue eyes. "Oh my God, Joe!

Look at me Joe. No, don't close your eyes. Look at me. Joe, Joe?"

I smile at Stephanie. Looking at her makes me want to smile. She's arguing with the EMTs, about wanting to ride in the ambulance. Eddie intercedes, and Stephanie is coming with me. I feel so tired. I want to tell her I'm sorry, that I love her, but I can't get the words out. I try to touch her but my arm doesn't want to work.

_Did I say that I need you?  
Did I say that I want you?  
Oh, if I didn't now I'm a fool you see,..  
No one knows this more than me.  
As I come clean. _

I hear the sirens blaring and the ambulance is weaving through Trenton's traffic. Stephanie is still talking to me, but I'm having a hard time understanding her. I wish she wouldn't cry. If I get through this I'm never going to make her cry again.

_I wonder everyday  
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..  
Everything you gave  
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..  
Nothing you would take,..  
Everything you gave.  
_

The emergency room doctor tells Stephanie she has to step back. I look at her face as long as possible. The doctor is shouting orders, something about getting to the OR stat. My stretcher is moving down a hallway, and Stephanie is by my side again, running with the stretcher. I ask her to stay with me. From the look on her face I don't think she understands what I said. The doctor says something about going into shock.

_Did I say that I need you?  
Oh, Did I say that I want you?  
Oh, if I didn't now I'm a fool you see,..  
No one know this more than me.  
As I come clean. _

There's so much I wish I could say to her. I wonder who will call my mom. I hope Eddie or Carl makes the call. Grandma Bella likes both of them. Please stop crying Stephanie. I love you. "Love you Stephanie."

_Nothing you would take,..  
everything you gave.  
Hold me till I die,.. _  
_Meet you on the other side. _

I wake up slowly, feeling like I had my ass kicked ten different ways. I take in the IV stand by the bed and remember I'm in the hospital. I look at the other side. The chair is pulled up next to the bed. Stephanie is in the chair, with her head on the mattress. She's sleeping. There are dark circles under her eyes.

I hear a noise by the door. I turn my head in that direction as a nurse walks in. She smiles when she sees that I'm awake. "Mr. Morelli. It's so good to see your eyes open. Let me page your doctor."

She pushes a button by the bed, talking into a speaker. The noise wakes Stephanie, causing her to bolt upright. She looks at me and a huge smile lights up her face.

"Joe, thank God you're awake. You scared the crap out of me, your mother and Grandma Bella. How do you feel? Never mind, that's a stupid question."

The nurse pulls out a thermometer. She sticks it in my ear while I decide to try out my voice. "How long have I been out?" My question comes out in a croak that doesn't sound anything like my voice.

"You were shot yesterday morning," Stephanie shakily said. "You've been out of it since your surgery. Everyone is worried about you."

"Where's my mom and Grandma Bella?"

"Your sister Cathy took them to the cafeteria to get something to eat. They refused to leave the hospital. We've been taking turns in your room since they wheeled you back in here. My mom and Grandma Mazur brought some sandwiches and stayed a while too. They left about thirty minutes ago. Connie and Lula are coming by later tonight."

"Where was I shot? My stomach hurts and I couldn't move after they put me on the stretcher."

"Mr. Morelli, your doctor will be here in a little while to go over your condition with you." The nurse is using her "stern" voice on us. I shoot her a look and she adds, "But you're out of danger now. It will take some time to heal, but you'll be up and around pretty soon." I'm still glaring at the lack of real information. "I'm leaving to check on my other patients now. Press the button if you need anything else." And with that the nurse beat a fast retreat out of the room.

Giving one of her eye rolls, Stephanie decides to have mercy on me and fill me in on the details. "I don't know what you remember, but Eddie says you shot one of the robbers. He managed to shoot you once before you took him down, getting you in the stomach. The bullet stopped by your spine. You couldn't move because the bullet caused the area to swell, putting pressure on your spine. You got lucky. The surgeon removed the bullet, and said there wasn't any damage to your spine."

"What about the people in the store? Are they okay? What were you doing there?"

"The only people who got shot were the robbers and you. The one you shot died. Eddie shot the other guy, but he'll be okay. One woman has a fractured rib, but that's the worst of it."

"I'm thinking the woman with the fractured rib is Janice. She went to school with Cathy. The guy I shot was going to kill people if he wasn't stopped. Still haven't said why you were there?"

"Lula and I had a skip working in the travel agency across the street. We were going to pick him up when Lula noticed your SUV in the hardware store lot. She was pointing your truck out to me when we heard the sirens. I ran across the street when I heard the shots." Tears are swimming in her eyes again.

"Hey, come here." I pat a spot on the bed. "I thought I was dreaming when I saw you. You know what I was thinking?"

Stephanie grabs a tissue from the table by the bed and noisily blows her nose. "No. What were your thinking?"

"I was thinking that I couldn't die. I hadn't had the chance to tell you I was sorry for our last fight. That I love you and I need you."

"You said you loved me right before you passed out. I love you too. Our fight was stupid Joe. Really stupid when you go out of your way to show me how fast everything can go to hell."

"Yeah, it was stupid. But I'm still sorry. We really need to grow up Stephanie."

"You need to stop yelling at me when you get mad. I hate it when you yell, Joe."

"Okay, I'll try to stop yelling. I think it's genetic, but I'll give it a shot. You need to quit stomping out of my house every time we disagree. We can't work things out if you keep running away from problems."

"I'm part Hungarian. I'm going to stomp around. But I'll try to not stomp out and run away. We can't keep doing this to each other Joe."

"No we can't. It's for damn sure that I can't go around getting shot any more to get your attention either." I wink at her and slowly smile when I see the familiar sparkle come into her eyes.

"No more shooting. There are more traditional ways you can get my attention," she says with a big grin on her face.

"Really? Why don't you come a little closer and you can tell me about the best ways to get your attention." I give her my sexy smile. At least I hope it looks sexy.

"Later, Joe. Once I get you home. I think I see some round-the-clock care in your future."

"Do I at least get a sponge bath this time?"

"Anything you want Joe. I'll even buy a skimpy nurse outfit to wear."

"Something to look forward to," I say and take her hand.


End file.
